May. 21st, 2010

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I scheduled Harley to be put to sleep on Saturday. He had been relatively ok, not in too much pain, but losing his appetite and getting rather skinny. He couldn't walk as long either. I figured might as well put him to sleep this week before he got worse.

However, a few hours ago he very suddenly took a turn for the worse. He yelped a bit and was panty and in pain. After a few minutes he stood up, went to the door, and lost control of his bladder.

Since it was obvious he wasn't doing well, I decided to take him to the 24 hour vet and put him to sleep. He went outside ok, but ran off to the side of the house. And I guess that was too much, because I had a really hard time getting him to the car, and had to lift him into it, then onto the seat. By the time we got to the vet, we had to take him in with a gurney, which he found very alarming. I petted him and told him he was silly.

They took him back to put in the catheter and probably sedate him, and then brought him back to me. He was still very panty, but soon fell asleep with his head in my lap. It didn't seem like a very peaceful sleep, but once his breath slowed down to a normal-ish pace, I got the vet for the last two injections. First to put him into a deep sleep, the second to stop his heart. It was very quick, and he looked up once before it was over. He also gave a very Harley-ish burp, after his heart was stopped, which the vet said was the carbon dioxide escaping. I left when his ears started to get cold.

He wasn't in pain in the end and that's enough.

I'm relatively ok right now, which I'm kinda surprised about. I guess it's because I've had since March to come with terms, and already did some hard crying in the days leading up to this. I'm feeling rather detached right now.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this much about this, but my memory is bad and I just want some kind of record for him.

I miss you Harley and I hope you're happy, wherever you are.

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themadfish

November 2011

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